FRESH START 2.0

A text message my sister sent a week ago has had me in a whirlwind and I decided to respond to it today. She called to say she was hoping I was having a relaxing day, my immediate response was to tell her there was no relaxing days since dad moved in … her response was; she noticed I was always on edge.

ALWAYS ON EDGE!?! You think? My dear sister, you do not offer one ounce of help despite your pronises to. Your ignorance to mom made me have to take over all of her care immediately instead of slowly, and you think I am on EDGE. 

She called and tried to tell me I misheard her, misunderstood her, blah blah blah and then finally she says I get the sense you are mad at me. Are you Mad at me? This is where I lost it. YES I AM FUCKING MAD AT YOU. She responded with surprise, dismay, no words left to utter but okay….

As the tears rolled down my cheek, I got up to get dads medicine and make sure he was dressed for his doctors appointment he woke me up at 2 am for. He was dressed and agitated. We get to the car and he yells at me about how I parked in the driveway. It made him get dirt all over his clothes. When we park at the doctors office he quizes me why does he need to go here and see this doctor. While waiting for the doctor he started aggressivley cleaning sweater. After about 40 minutes, I took it from him and told him I would wash it when we got home. 

I got him home and happy. Got his sweatshirt into the wash machine and left for work.

Often lately, I wonder how long this period in my life will go.